Monday, February 28, 2011

Still missing you, Captain Z

I know this is a blog about my return to cycling, but occasionally I will have to take a side road and address other things in my life. Tonight, my wife and I were  cleaning out some old things from my late greyhound, Zoomer (aka: Captain Z). We had to put Zoomer to sleep last June after some very nasty osteosarcoma returned to his little body. It's been 8 months since we said good bye to our little buddy, but there are times when it still hurts. I got him as a puppy at 9 weeks old, and he was in my life for nearly 10 1/2 years. He was with me through some of the most painful years of my life, and through the most joyful ones. He was my buddy. He was my companion. He was my protector. He was a gift from the Creator. And even though part of my pain is just not having a dog in my life right now, I also know that much of that pain is from losing him and his own little personality.

Sometimes it's hard to believe that it's been 8 months now. Still, at other times, it seems like a lifetime ago...the last time I stroked his beautiful, smooth coat...or got a kiss from him. That's the way it always seems though: whenever a loved one leaves this life, the life after they go, is like a completely different life. And so in a way, it is. After all, the relationship is over. It is no longer. Your life has in a way that can never return.

My wife and I will most likely be getting another dog sometime in the future. We've agreed to wait at least 2 years after his death though. And since my wife has fallen in love with the greyhound breed, it will be another one of those graceful, gorgeous creatures. But there will never be another Zoomer. Zoomer contracted the bone cancer 20 months before we had him put to sleep. But before it had returned and attacked his lungs, he still love life during most of those final months, even though he had a cancerous rear leg amputated. And I will always remember how he lived during that time, living it with the same love for life and passion for running that he always had. I will always remember the walk he and I took to Brown Deer Park during the winter of 2008/2009, just a couple months after his leg was removed. He ran through the soft snow with abandon that is only possible when you are filled with joy to be alive. Zoomer showed me how to love life and be thankful, no matter what life brings you.

Zoomer taught me that, even when you are a crippled, old dog, you can still have fun going fast. Zoomer taught me that those who mean the most to you, are to be treasured and loved as much as you are capable of. And then, when you have nothing left to give, give them one last kiss.

No comments:

Post a Comment